MY GIRLFRIEND

MY GIRLFRIEND
My girlfriend told me last night that it's over between us.
I thought about it and i found out that life without her is
meaningless, so I decided to kill myself.
I jumped from my reading table to my bed but I didn't die, I went to
the express road and looked carefully before crossing the road,
nothing happened to me.
I drank 4 rubbers of lacasera with plenty suya but nothing
happened, I took a lot of mangoes without swallowing the seeds,
yet I didn't see hell!
I proceeded to another level of concoction. I prepared gizzard and
kidney sauce with strawberry juice and lots of fresh tomatoes, yet
nothing happened to me.
I ate cake, chocolate mixed with ice cream, still I didn't die.
I'm so worried now cause I just finished eating fried rice with
chilled maltina and fresh fruit salad but nothing has happened to
me.
I'm really upset right now.
Friends, what do I do? Should I try fried plantain and chicken with
fresh milk?
Will it work?
Advise me please, I'm waiting for your advice.